life in t r a n s i t i o n

i dont know what to say.

I am AWED by God

my life this season is crazy! Lasalle; art school.. if you think it’s cool and funky, it is no doubt. But sometimes it feels really CRAP and awfully CRAP. Whatever you know, people and stuff like that. And, obviously it affected my relationship with God big time. That’s the truth. I finally came to acceptance that I didn’t choose to be in design school but God chose. I loved design, but I sought God for over a year to see if thats where i’m to go. So it came to past. I have no doubt in GOD, to be where He wants me to, God just affirms me though I have to go thru a lot of ppl even family, why are you in Art school. Why you waste your money in school.. And stuff like that. It shatters me, really because I didn’t meant to do that. I’m being where God wants me, and I struggle all the days till today God affirmed me. By someone in a cell I’m attending somewhere,  she shared this

Ephesians 3:16 – 21

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in you r inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and hgh and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

John 6:35,37

Jesus replied, ‘ I am the Bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.. Those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them .

These are what God spoke thru ppl thru my QT. I was insecure abt what I’m doing, everyone thinks arts going no where. But I’m certain of God. Enough said, i’m doing this because of God. If God wants to pull me out. By all means, I will. 

Secondly, I went for cell on wednesday night , it’s not a church cell. Long story, if you want to know ask me ok! Those who know where I’ve been they know what cell i’m referring to. I’m really awed by God. In my dictionary, I never ever thought cell could be this way. Stereotype no! I think it’s just God and the ppl’s hearts. I was really humbled, everyone was broken, including me… We were broken ppl, it’s only when we are broken God can work thru us, because we open our hearts to him. That’s what everyone was. Honest and true and deep sharing abt their lives about God. How they felt stuff. It was abt Him not about us. It’s abt our lives, what we struggling. So I really really thank God , I opened and saw this cell and said. God that’s you. We worshipped like never before, everyone just broke down and cried and worshipped. Something that someone shared, i never thought these ppl existed… He shared this…

If  we dont have a relationship with God, we are labouring in vain. You dont need to keep doing, you just need to sit and talk to God. He loves you whatever it is. Then somehow he shared about WHERE ARE YOU GOING? in your spiritual life. He asked are you SERIOUS like REALLY SERIOUS about this relationship with God. I have no doubt God treats it seriously like TOP in the list you know. But it’s us. It’s all truth. 

So I hope, and pray whoever reads this will really think about God, and their relationship seriously. I didn’t share this with the cell i went to. It reminded me of a question. If  one day you go up to heaven and sees Jesus and Jesus said I do not know you. So what’s next. Do God knows you personally, on a personal level, like a friend like a daddy like  a  lover? I think, that should be it.

I’ve come to a point that it’s time to move on for ministry. Worship ministry is not the place where God wants to be at least for life. That’s not where I’m to be. I never knew where I’m to be, but I know it is a ministry that grew me in my spiritual life. I was so uncertain if i should not sing anymore. There’s a huge struggle. God wanted me to sing but why I’m stepping down, it’s not. I love to sing I love to! But I know it’s my season, I’m not to be there anymore. I dont know where I am going. Uncertainty yes. BUT JESUS IS MY CERTAINTY. I’m really certain that’s the next step I take. It’s scary, it’s like i’m stepping out of a shelter. Transition. Big big one. I SAY. I guess, have Faith and see where God leads next. 

samsam is sleepy and tired and will go to sleep now… 1:41 a.m .. I seldom do this because I’m just excited!

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