there’s a lot of thoughts on my mind..
we are all a broken people.. we have messed up; got hurt
All these are just a part and parcel of life..
I was talking to a friend yesterday, we are just trying to live day by day
(anyway, i’m not depressed, just a lot of thoughts)
isn’t it true, living a day at a time…
Anyway, it was fun at Arts Connection yesterday at Singapore Life Church, to have the band Alternation coming down to play for us.. yupp, it was really cool, and the songs I’m sured touched many hearts there. Though, i went home late and did nothing. But I dont know, I’m really glad I went.. Donna Ong, a christian artist came and shared…
There’s a lot of truth in her sharing, will you still do art even though you are going to create art that looks like crap, but God is looking how you live and connect with the people around in the arts. Hmm.. the main point is, you are going to do crap art, will you still stay there because of the people around… I had my answer when I had my worst moments of school.. I value my friends in class more than anyone else.. simply because, they are the ones who pushes you on, struggling alongside you. Not that it’s good, but it’s just different. I love you all CD3G! and our fabulous teachers! I guess, my classmates knows who I consider fabulous teachers :)
Another thing donna brought up is absolutely true… at the first time with art, I will try to create something about God, or trying to share the gospel. It is not that it is not good, but you know, that’s perhaps not art. Art is an expression of the artist, how he or she is feeling, what is he or she shouting or screaming out.. with deep emotions… But trying to craft a piece out for the sake of communication, not with your heart and soul, it’s just off… That’s what i’ve learnt the past few months, i’ve let go of myself, whether I think my art looks like crap or not, go with how my heart beats and feel towards it… Because, no one knows your heart better than yourself, if you subject your piece to the critics out there… before the piece is developed and processed, it’s just different. Not that we should not have critic, but allowing to come to full blown, it’s just going to be much more powerful… I have no idea if anyone do understand what i’m saying…. but i’m just processing my thoughts…
another thing i’m processing, LOVE creates and turns a lot things right or UPSIDE DOWN. because love do hurts a lot, being stuck in love and out of love, being thrown off love, going thru a relationship has an argument of their own.. I told God, all that I’ve seen, i’ve been thru, it just dont make me feel like falling in love, because it truly hurts.. I feel God is just so funny, when you decided give it up on someone already…. and move on… yet you moved on.. there that person will just appear from no where.. You just tell God, i’ve given up, I don’t want to love the person anymore or perhaps there’s no more feelings.. But God just keep doing it over and over.. Life is just amazing… Well, as for Love, I dont want to think about it, just letting God take the lead, i’m tired and much too fearful about this unknown thing called Love… if we are really meant to be, it will be.. But one thing I’m certain, I can’t be with someone who can’t speaks the language of art or design. I’ll just be so so so upset.. samsam laughs
Hmm. ranted enough. time to do the portfolio.. my ultimate refusal! Can an angel from heaven do it for me? Just so many things… just too much for me already/: