literally, the silence and solitude i had was fantastic up in Chiang Mai.

I really needed that, too many voices in me telling me all kinds of stuff.

I really didn’t know what to do.. i guess clarity was it! for me :D

enjoyed the time, painting and painting and painting. during retreat. and it unfolded a lot for me (:

let me have some time , to write the story thru my paintings (: i didn’t know how to do a review this retreat so i whipped that out and explained what happened inside of me (:

it’s really not easy to adjust, really back home now. i’m used to walking a slower speed. a really slow speed actually. don’t feel like talking. wanting to sleep at 930 pm. i’m not kidding u.

o wells.. i wonder am i so not well read, that i don’t know tuesdays with morrie but yes i must say it’s a show I can watch over and over again. I got back all my results and stuff, it doesn’t show a thing honestly. but i discovered my class list and my timetable. AWESOME is the word. Late monday morning classes. that ends at lunch hour and tuesday night classes. wednesdays as usual guest lectures… Thursday a longer day (: but with FRIDAYS free.. actually i don’t know what i’m in for. to have chose image and communication, for goodness sake it’s my weakest. now i’m in for a new thing altogether. fly and by. truly i need to learn to FULLY and really FULLY dependent on Jesus (:

late nights. please don’t come. i don’t want to befriend you at all. :x

actually excited for classes and doodles on my new sketchbook!

i had a enjoyable time cooking (; cooking is art… at one time while cooking i saw the vegetable as materials for art. haahah! i’m nuts, ignore me (: we had aglio olio, stir fry veggies, cream soup and beef patty for dinner (: for the entire family (;

i think we are very satisfied (:  after everything. enjoyed the time!

with that, I also finished packing the luggage and ready to fly to Thailand, Chiang Mai for retreat for 10 days! yay!

Silence. (: it’s the best.

then i’ll be in bangkok for 5 days for recreation and shopping (;

then i’ll be home on 22 dec touching down on midnight. (:

i’ll probably be not posting for the 2 weeks (:

It’s my favorite country i’m going to Thailand! :D  TOM YUMMMMMM GOONNGG

loves,

samsam

God, i pray your will be done, whatever u choose to reveal in the retreat. it’ll not be beyond me :)

sleepy and tired.  boring days. as usual.

i need to get myself together and do some work la. :x

which, i am doing. obviously very slowly :D

well well.. at least i got my wisdom tooth x ray done and my jeans altered! YAY!

i’m flying off next week. I should start packing. i want to bring my DSLR. :x but it’s extra weight :xxxx we’ll see.

before i disappear i love to share pictures from botanical gardens… WAY overdue. :D but i remember it’s a beautiful day!

(:

i heart this picture.

we’re all different, we are uniquely made!

ELSHADDAI made me :D

that’s the big difference …

i cleaned up the space where i make magic happen.

needing some inspiration to make it look INSPIRING.

my little studio space.

need space for my design books, and I have ONE new book

making it’s way to my place YAY!

and i’ve been a BOOKWORM! :p

reading up on illustration..

but well I will learn to depend and abide in Him even more..

But wells, if image & comm is where He wants me to be ,

He’ll be there with me!

alright, i’m watercoloring tonight !

i know it sounds weird but o wells.

]]> http://justwhack.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/samsam/feed/ 0 justwhack http://justwhack.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/the-god-i-know/ http://justwhack.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/the-god-i-know/#comments Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:28:03 +0000 justwhack http://justwhack.wordpress.com/?p=1549 ]]>

the stage is bare tonight

there is no one else

just You and me

when the curtains closed behind

there’s no pretense

i’m on my knees

i will lay down my life

for the love sacriface

you gave to me

it’s all because of you……..

these words, meant a lot to me…. because that longing to come before him like how it’s written. It meant a lot in my heart. I may not know how many of my friends are doing right now.. but I can only be praying for them. To make a commitment to pray for them, because they are important to you. Though, you may not get to meet them and chat with them. But you know you love them and care for these people. right now, for me.. i’m journeying in deeper to things God is revealing that I find it tough to work with to accept about who I am. deeper issues are surfacing. the insecurities, the vision and purpose of my life. the process and the journey. I’m in a place, right now, just Him and me. Nothing else, no ministries burden, or to lead or anything. just for me to spend time delighting in Him everyday. :D i kind of like it. But i find it hard, because i think I like to do things for Him but unnecessary at all. It’s all about the being not the doing. so this is a part of my life. just like the lyrics speaks.. that’s a season i guess for me, to just be with Him. :D more than glad!

i think it’s going to be a fruitful holiday for me!

before I fly, I need to get my jeans altered and take an x ray for my wisdom tooth.

:D that’s about it. the rest. is watercolor painting and illustration time!

bounced off!

there’s so much questions, running in my mind right now.

i just don’t know how to say it, but i’m not someone who work in a box.

i’m totally inpractical, don’t really contain myself in a box. i’m out of it.

and that’s me. i simply want to dream big with God.

i don’t like to follow what others are doing, i never liked the idea .. unless convinced by God.

that’s the way to go. If not, i don’t like doing what people consider…

if you’re talking about a house a roof , a base a shelter, they are not wrong things to have or want or own..

But I just feel, they can be a hindrance of where God wants to put you.

It’s like God has to work around you, he doesn’t have to.. anyhow it’s your own boundary … it’s your offering unto God. what you choose to do, what decisions you make. it may be even not having any children, a covenant to honor Him, to give of yourselves to serve Him fully. *and  I dont mean it’s everyone or whatever.. but its also the motive behind certain things.

as for buying house, i dont want to have the motive to want to have a roof above my heart, so that I have smth to rely on. But I just want to give of what I can, to Him fully. Not of trying to say, you want to provide places for others to stay. I still feel, it isn’t going to convince me. I doubt my very own nature. I doubt my nature of being self-centred and self-fish who wants security to have a place to stay, a place i can rely on. a place I can called my own.

is it necessary to have one, will it kill you to have you rent a place to live?

i simply ranted and it’s the best way for me to think through stuff while writing.

* and most importantly, once u have a house and settle in, I have a worry that I won’t want to go into mission field anymore. i’m scared, that i will grow so comfortable that I forget the vision, the calling of God has for me, because I’ll be distracted by every other thing.. :x oh wells.

rant rant rant. that’s it.

yesterday, was the end of my assessments!

the hours we sleep the past week

i think it won’t be more than 20 hours.

I just want to give thanks to God who gave me the strength and courage to continue.

many times, I feel like giving up when i was preparing for assessments.

it’s the most stressful thing, ever. trust me.

breaking down in the midst of assessments, it’s totally common.

but I learnt, not to give up .. Breathe and work it thru.

trust the Lord it’ll all be fine. Have FAITH!

people think, exams are stressful.

well, I say assessments are MORE than that.

that’s if you are a design student, there’s nth called sleep in our dictionary during assessments period.

But I really really love what I am doing.

that’s why I’m in it.

all the sewing and making and crafting pays off!

now my beautifully sewn CPJ and my recipe project is with my teacher now.

They are keeping it! :D for the time being.

yay!

school is out!

i managed to get nearly 12 hours of sleep.

and i felt guilty of this sleep.

i’ve been wanting to blog, but i simply can’t.

schoolwork, 16 nov. it’s the DEADLINE.

i’m done with most stuff, just the last project and a final outcome for recipe.

:x samsam is scared, but daddy is with me.

i shouldn’t be afraid :D

till then!

Boyzone

I’ve been crafting quite a bit, for the current project.

i think it’s driving all of us crazy already.

A classmate just declared World War 6 :D

The cassette tape is what I did for fun! but the boyzone faces,

it was painful and grueling to do it.

But on a second note, smth happened to me this week.

Let me show you, I did a magic trick called

Cutting a 10 dollar note into 2

I didn’t do anything called Photo manipulation. It’s literal.

Honestly. How beautiful can this get.

But yupps sent it to the bank and got a new one for myself.

the secret of how it’s done shall be a secret (:

alrights, time to get started with work! :x

oxox.

i’m going to cry. i didn’t do work yesterday.

Daddy God, please grant me discipline.

It is going to be over soon. It’s really tough and difficult.

Especially with the cold weather, i just want to be cosy !

and hide under my covers for the day. But I shouldn’t.

Help me daddy, to be disciplined and be hardworking. :D

samsam will not drown, because He’s looking at me !

How could I ever live without you O God?

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