The God I know

the stage is bare tonight

there is no one else

just You and me

when the curtains closed behind

there’s no pretense

i’m on my knees

i will lay down my life

for the love sacriface

you gave to me

it’s all because of you……..

these words, meant a lot to me…. because that longing to come before him like how it’s written. It meant a lot in my heart. I may not know how many of my friends are doing right now.. but I can only be praying for them. To make a commitment to pray for them, because they are important to you. Though, you may not get to meet them and chat with them. But you know you love them and care for these people. right now, for me.. i’m journeying in deeper to things God is revealing that I find it tough to work with to accept about who I am. deeper issues are surfacing. the insecurities, the vision and purpose of my life. the process and the journey. I’m in a place, right now, just Him and me. Nothing else, no ministries burden, or to lead or anything. just for me to spend time delighting in Him everyday. :D i kind of like it. But i find it hard, because i think I like to do things for Him but unnecessary at all. It’s all about the being not the doing. so this is a part of my life. just like the lyrics speaks.. that’s a season i guess for me, to just be with Him. :D more than glad!

i think it’s going to be a fruitful holiday for me!

before I fly, I need to get my jeans altered and take an x ray for my wisdom tooth.

:D that’s about it. the rest. is watercolor painting and illustration time!

bounced off!

questions

there’s so much questions, running in my mind right now.

i just don’t know how to say it, but i’m not someone who work in a box.

i’m totally inpractical, don’t really contain myself in a box. i’m out of it.

and that’s me. i simply want to dream big with God.

i don’t like to follow what others are doing, i never liked the idea .. unless convinced by God.

that’s the way to go. If not, i don’t like doing what people consider…

if you’re talking about a house a roof , a base a shelter, they are not wrong things to have or want or own..

But I just feel, they can be a hindrance of where God wants to put you.

It’s like God has to work around you, he doesn’t have to.. anyhow it’s your own boundary … it’s your offering unto God. what you choose to do, what decisions you make. it may be even not having any children, a covenant to honor Him, to give of yourselves to serve Him fully. *and  I dont mean it’s everyone or whatever.. but its also the motive behind certain things.

as for buying house, i dont want to have the motive to want to have a roof above my heart, so that I have smth to rely on. But I just want to give of what I can, to Him fully. Not of trying to say, you want to provide places for others to stay. I still feel, it isn’t going to convince me. I doubt my very own nature. I doubt my nature of being self-centred and self-fish who wants security to have a place to stay, a place i can rely on. a place I can called my own.

is it necessary to have one, will it kill you to have you rent a place to live?

i simply ranted and it’s the best way for me to think through stuff while writing.

* and most importantly, once u have a house and settle in, I have a worry that I won’t want to go into mission field anymore. i’m scared, that i will grow so comfortable that I forget the vision, the calling of God has for me, because I’ll be distracted by every other thing.. :x oh wells.

rant rant rant. that’s it.

for jesus, it’s worth it.

yesterday, was the end of my assessments!

the hours we sleep the past week

i think it won’t be more than 20 hours.

I just want to give thanks to God who gave me the strength and courage to continue.

many times, I feel like giving up when i was preparing for assessments.

it’s the most stressful thing, ever. trust me.

breaking down in the midst of assessments, it’s totally common.

but I learnt, not to give up .. Breathe and work it thru.

trust the Lord it’ll all be fine. Have FAITH!

people think, exams are stressful.

well, I say assessments are MORE than that.

that’s if you are a design student, there’s nth called sleep in our dictionary during assessments period.

But I really really love what I am doing.

that’s why I’m in it.

all the sewing and making and crafting pays off!

now my beautifully sewn CPJ and my recipe project is with my teacher now.

They are keeping it! :D for the time being.

yay!

school is out!

typewriter.

i managed to get nearly 12 hours of sleep.

and i felt guilty of this sleep.

i’ve been wanting to blog, but i simply can’t.

schoolwork, 16 nov. it’s the DEADLINE.

i’m done with most stuff, just the last project and a final outcome for recipe.

:x samsam is scared, but daddy is with me.

i shouldn’t be afraid :D

till then!

crafting in progress

Boyzone

I’ve been crafting quite a bit, for the current project.

i think it’s driving all of us crazy already.

A classmate just declared World War 6 :D

The cassette tape is what I did for fun! but the boyzone faces,

it was painful and grueling to do it.

But on a second note, smth happened to me this week.

Let me show you, I did a magic trick called

Cutting a 10 dollar note into 2

I didn’t do anything called Photo manipulation. It’s literal.

Honestly. How beautiful can this get.

But yupps sent it to the bank and got a new one for myself.

the secret of how it’s done shall be a secret (:

alrights, time to get started with work! :x

oxox.

the days ahead.

i’m going to cry. i didn’t do work yesterday.

Daddy God, please grant me discipline.

It is going to be over soon. It’s really tough and difficult.

Especially with the cold weather, i just want to be cosy !

and hide under my covers for the day. But I shouldn’t.

Help me daddy, to be disciplined and be hardworking. :D

samsam will not drown, because He’s looking at me !

How could I ever live without you O God?

i survived.

 

i wish this won’t happen again.

rebuilding the entire website in one night.

sleeping at 5 am waking at 11 to finish the portfolio (:

I’m nuts.

I want to give thanks to Christ, I won’t be able to do this seriously, it’s His grace that empowered me. :D

i’m done!

don’t dream too much.

it feels like a dream, the days that went past.

no more dreaming samsam, assessments on 16 Nov.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I will live the deadline. the great meal will come. :D

and i made a fake cassette tape. upload photos tmr! (for fun! )

Awesome God.

Awesome God

Our God is an awesome God ,

He reigns from Heaven above

with wisdom, power and love

Our God is an awesome God.

Beautiful  song as always, i came across it in my itunes and the first and the best song I could play on the guitar is this song. It’s easy but it meant a lot to me.  How awesome is the Lord, how often it’s so easy to turn our eyes from Him and look at things on our perspective than on Him. How we choose, to be disturbed by issues rather than worshipping Him for who He is and doing every other thing but to come and worship Him. Worship is a lifestyle, not a sunday event or cell group event. It’s every single day. I miss times where the people of God coming together just coming together in worship and prayer :D it reminds of the music workshop, by a special group of people I salute to. When you have a band who is worshipping God and playing with them is a great honor. Because it’s amazing, you know what is going on. samsam is hanging on to God, though I’m tired. I feel refreshed when I come to Him in the mornings. They are beautiful because even though He doesn’t speak, that assuring presence is there. Quiet, very quiet. But it’s like a couple who doesn’t talk yet knows one another well. :) i’m learning in this journey. To think God took away everything, nopes. He stretched my ears and my quiet posture even deeper :D

* sidenote : I’m flying to Thailand for 15 days! Air tickets all booked. 10 days retreat: Silent retreat. What can I ask for?  then BKK for shopping and then Home!  in Dec.

Psalms 23

The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not be in want.

He makes me lies down in green pastures

and lead me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through

the valley of the shadow of death

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

i’m reminded time and time again, the importance of stillness and rest not just flying and zooming around even when I’m busy. i’m tired, schoolwork is really a huge chunk. it is scaring me out. :D but daddy is with me, i will not be afraid, but be encouraged by his presence with me. Amazed at Him again. He is the best! :D

I know I can, because He is with me. With Hi, all things are possible. Dependent on Him, not on my own. For no good thing, comes from me (: